Growing up with his brother

Growing up with his brother part 1

A little boy named Samir was rejected by his older brother Youssef. Unfortunately for Youssef, God had put in Samir’s hands a gift that Youssef wanted and needed in order to have the life he came here on earth to live. Youssef rejected his little brother because he could not meet his needs and demands. Society was not ready for somebody like Samir. Whenever Youssef was doing something for Samir, he ended up in cataclysmic situations. He tried to create an environment where his brother would be accepted but no one wanted to hear about it. He tried to reach out to people and explained how he was but no one listened. He tried to accommodate the environment according to his brother needs but the outside world was just crushing down everything he was trying to put in place. Every time he was trying to do what Samir wanted, he was getting into trouble. He grew more and more frustrated by his inability to realise what his brother wanted. He began to think that maybe Samir was the problem. Instead of fighting for Samir, he started to think that maybe he should leave Samir. Perhaps Samir was the thing he should get rid of instead of constantly getting himself in trouble.

Nonetheless, he kept on fighting for Samir because he knew that Samir had something that he needed in order to realize what he came here for. He knew that if he abandoned his brother, he was going to loose the gift God gave him. He could not accept that. He tried to establish and create on numerous occasions a reality that would have helped Samir to live in peace but whatever he attempted was destroyed by his surrounding. Above all, every time he was with his little brother, he felt rejected, humiliated, ignored and completely vulnerable. Youssef was beaten down so many times because of his brother that he even got scared of him. Unable to sustain the difficulties he was accumulating during his childhood because he carried his brother, he started thinking about a way to get rid of him. He could not accept that easily that he had to drop his brother but if he wanted to survive on this earth at that age, he had to do it.

The situation got so bad that one day, without really remembering when it happened or how it actually happened, Youssef lost it. The people around him pushed him so far and he had suffered so much and had found no one around him to explain him what was going on that he called God and said to: “I don’t care about your gift. It is only bringing problem to me. You sent me in a very horrible place. I rather go to hell than following your stupid rules. Look what I am going trough. Why don’t you just stop everything? I keep on trying and everybody is so stupid that they constantly break everything I do. I hate this place, I hate this life, I hate the earth, I hate the people who are living on it, I hate you and I hate everything that you represent. Since no one wants to listen to me, I am going to show them what I am capable of. I will destroy every single thing they believe it. I will show them that the things they cherish the most are none sense. I will break all their dreams. I will break them one by one and they will see what I am. I will make them hate each other. I hate their stupidity and I will break everything around me. I will not respect their rules. I will not respect anyone around me. I will be an angel of hatred. I will spread it around me with the most disgusting ways. I will always fake that I am with them but deep inside me, I will only plot to break and destroy their stupid beliefs that they want me to swallow. They will see I am capable of. From now and on, I will be a destroyer. I will use every one of them only to break them. I will only take pleasure in seeing them suffering completely. I will manipulate them, I will torture them, I will serve evil so much that when they look at me and they will fear me. Above all, God! I want to tell you that I hate everything you stand for. I hate everything you have ever created, you are a total mistake and I want to destroy you and I will destroy you. Mark my words; I am going to destroy you. You will never see me fighting for your stupidity. I have suffered enough and Samir, I will completely destroy him. Go to hell with your gift. I no longer want to see you. Do never approach me. Never come close to me.” and he cried.

God listened and he looked at him and said: “are you sure.” Youssef said with tears in his eyes and with a broken voice: “of course I am sure. Go away! You bring me nothing but trouble. I don’t want to see you ever.” and he cried. God said: “there is an old Chinese proverb that said: “be aware of what you wish. You are way too young to take that decision.” Youssef interrupted him and said: “this is what I want and I don’t care about Chinese proverbs. The hell with them.” God Said: “very well then my beloved son, considered it done” and he granted him his wish.

The next morning, Youssef had the courage to take the drastic decision to completely ignore and reject Samir. He had enough and he could not take it anymore. He told himself if being with his little brother was going to make him suffer that much, there was absolutely no point at all for him to remain with him.

Even though God had granted him his wish, it was not and easy decision to take and was even harder to implement it. He felt bad for the way he had spoken to God. He felt bad because he was not able to implement the path of God. He felt bad because he could not take it anymore. He felt bad because he had abandoned his mission. He felt bad because he betrayed the reason he came here for. He felt bad because he had betrayed all the masters who had trained him prior to his arrival on earth. He hate the fact that he had no others choices than to do what he was about to do. The more he looked at things, the more it was obvious that if he did not do it, he was not going to grow up. After he had tried to live with his little brother and saw the damage it was causing him, the kind of suffering he was bringing him and the type of mockery he received from everyone, he chose to distance himself from Samir. It was a difficult decision but he felt like he had no choice. He made a secret promise to himself that the people on earth would pay for the decision he had to take. He would make them suffer because of it. He made them responsible of his failure and inability to follow God’s path. Revenge from now and on would be his path and he would not even being conscious of it.

Although he wanted to do it, he had trouble to implement it. He was so used to live with his brother that abandoning him and leaving him broke his heart. He knew he was not going to be the same after. It killed him to hide his brother and ran away but he did it. When he was far away, he convinced himself that he hated his brother. He associated him with snakes, sorcery, weakness, black magic and all the bad things that were on this earth. He made a secret promise to himself that the people on earth would pay for the decision he had to take. He would make them suffer because of it. He made them responsible of his failure and inability to follow God’s path. Revenge from now and on would be his path and he would not even being conscious of it.

Since the day he had decided to split with his brother, he was no longer the same. He felt alone. He became cold. Anger was within him, inside him and trough him. He was angry or sad every single day. He hated himself for abandoning his brother and rejecting God. He knew deep down deep that it was not the right thing to do but what else could he have done? He hated what he was becoming but nonetheless, he was very much attracted to it. It brought him incredible pleasure. The darkness of life welcomed him. He felt embraced by it and understood. He became cynical and did not believe in anything. He could not bare the thought that he had rejected his brother but he had.

He forced himself to forget about him and slowly but surely he managed to do it. Unfortunately for him, what he was not aware of was that forgetting about his brother was actually forgetting about who he was. He did not know that he would spend the rest of his life looking for him. Every time he saw people who had their brother with them, he used them and made them feel bad about it because he did not want to be reminded that he had rejected his and he did not want to be the only one in this situation. Sometimes when he saw them, he admired them and he felt bad about himself because he did not have what they had inside them. They still had their brothers with them. They had been successful at keeping and holding their brothers. He was not and he did not even remember. He just knew that he did not have what they had and he felt extremely sad. On others occasions, he got closer to those people only to realized that they behaved with him like people behaved with him in his childhood when he had Samir with him. He was disappointed. He was looking for a way out be he could not find it. He was alone in his world. Nobody was there to understand what was going on not even himself. He did not know what was going on inside him. He was lost.

He felt weak and unattractive. He became more and more violent with people. He did not respect anyone and anything. He was empty. The more he accumulated things, the more he realized that there was nothing in those things. He did not know what was missing inside him but something was odd. Youssef had not only hided and ran away from his brother but at this point he had no recollection of ever having a brother.

Cut from the gift he had, he went on looking for it elsewhere. He tried many things in the outside world thinking that it would replace his brother but every time he got what he wanted, he felt incomplete and it was never enough. He always needed more and more and more. No matter what he achieved or received or accomplished, he was not able to be satisfied. There was always something lacking in his life.

Samir had escaped the place where he was hidden and went to look for his brother. He saw how his brother behaved and was sadden. Samir knew that his brother could not stand him in these conditions but he knew he had what Youssef was looking for. In order to bring Youssef next to him, he decided to seduce him by wearing the most beautiful clothes, having the most beautiful girls’ friends, getting the best jobs, traveling in the most wonderful places in others words, living a beautiful life.

The gift Samir had, he could not use it alone. He needed Youssef in order to use it appropriately. The gift could only be useful if Youssef loved Samir entirely without any trace of doubt. There could not be a place for something else inside Youssef. His devotion to his brother needed to be total. The love he had to have for his brother needed to take his entire self. Nothing could be in competition with the love he had for Samir.

Growing up with his brother part 2 and Final

Conscious of the difficulties his brother was going through, he decided to help Youssef love the person he became since he had abandoned him. He made several investigations about Youssef to find out what he liked, what he wanted, what his ambitions were and what he was dreaming about. Once he found the answers to all these questions, he managed to help him to receive what he wanted. Of course he did everything from far because Youssef would have never been able to accept something from his own brother directly. Brother by the way, he had already forgotten and had absolutely no clue that he ever existed.

Slowly but surely, Samir was moving things from far and was able to give Youssef what he dreamt of. Youssef felt good and kept on moving forward. Although he was never entirely satisfied with the things he got, he was conquering and acquiring everything he desired. People admired him and he could show off to his friend and people around him. He had the most beautiful women.

Successes surrounded Youssef and he was proud and began to think that he could achieve whatever he wanted. He was no longer afraid and was absolutely proud of himself. Having achieved most of the things he wanted, he started to wonder about what was missing inside him. He wanted to go beyond things he already got. He had conquered life and now he wanted to be truly happy.

Samir put books which were aimed at bringing him closer to his inner search or to increase his understanding of his life. Every time Youssef went in bookstores, Samir had contacted different agents who were working there in order to make him past close to books that could enlighten him or to suggest him some reading that could interest him. Whenever there was a television show that was talking about the knowledge of one self, Samir made sure that his brother was aware of it.

Everything went according to plan and one day, Youssef started to look for someone who could really help him increase the knowledge of himself. As always Samir paved the way in order for him to reach that person. Once he found him, it took him twenty years to understand that he had a defence mechanism. After that, it took him another ten years to realise why he had that defence mechanism. Finally after five years, he remembered that he had a brother and the reason why he had abandoned him.

When he reached that point, he needed another four years to forgive himself for what he had done. At the eve of his master death, Youssef asked him where he could find his brother. His master told him that his brother was within him and added that when he finishes forgiving himself, he will see his brother inside him. He said: “your brother is waiting for you inside yourself. It had done so for the longest time. He had been plotting for you to come back to him. It had been a hard, rough, tough and harsh path before you arrive here. You can be proud of yourself and thank him for what he had done for you and for himself. Go to your brother. When you see him, embrace him and help him to grow now that you are an adult. You and him have a lot to do on this earth.” and he died. Youssef cried and buried him.

The next day, Youssef went in the forest alone and asked his brother to forgive him and Samir told him that the important thing was that they were together again. Youssef told him that he will stop calling him Samir because they were the same person and he told himself to seat completely in his body. For the first time in his life, Youssef felt satisfied. He was no more away from himself. He had recovered all the parts of himself and could seat in the world as one person.


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