Do you open or do you close your eyes when you make love?

Do you open or do you close your eyes when you make love?

Do you open or do you close your eyes when you make love? Well! The question is a little bite awkward at first but it actually makes lot of sense when we think about it. When we close our eyes, one could say that he or she is more in touch with her imagination than he or she is with the person in front him or her. If somebody is shy, closing his eyes could help the person to do things that otherwise he or she would have never done if his or her eyes were opened while they were making love. One could argue that this is precisely why “turning on and of the light” have been invented. Indeed by turning the light of, one can go crazy and pretend that it is not really him or her. Thank God for the darkness. We can always count on it to lie to ourselves whenever we feel the need to.

When our eyes are closed, it is true that we can let go easier and maybe faster than if our eyes were open. Now, closing our eyes give us the possibility to be within our imagination and maybe to abandon ourselves more than we would have done if our eyes were opened. If we are more in touch with our imagination when we make love, it is therefore fair to ask if we are making love with the person we are with or if we are making love with our self through our imagination. If imagination plays a big role, it means that we never really sleep with anyone else other than our self.

Alright! I got you. One can say that this is an extreme case of jealousy. Indeed, if one wants to control or stop another one from closing his eyes when they are making love because it would mean that he or she is not focussed on him or her, it could be very problematic. I agree, going in that direction is completely insane because as long as you have your pleasure and everything you expected from the sexual encounter, who really cares if the person spent more time closing his or her eyes than opening them. Who care if the person spent more time being in his or her imagination when she or he was making love? As long as the two partners are satisfied, it should not matter.

Having said that, it does not change the fact that making love to someone is primarily making love to our self first. It depends firstly on our ability to make love to our self. If we can not do that, it is going to be extremely difficult for us to achieve anything of any importance. The partner or lover can help us go wherever we want and we can even reach the place we want to go if he or she is skilful but if we are not entirely ready and dedicated to make love to our self, we might reach orgasm but we would hardly be completely in touch with our self.

Therefore our ability to enjoy our self completely when we make love depends on our capacity to know what our self is. Acquiring the knowledge of our self, will help us love and enjoy our self. The more we love our self, the more able we are to make love to our self and the less dependent we are from whatever our partner does or will do. Our ability to pleasure our self, to make love to our self, to enjoy our self, to experience our self and to give our self what we love, what we need and to be patient and caring with our self will determine whether or not we are dependent on the other person.  Our freedom is based on how capable we are to love our self.

For those who open their eyes, there are many possibilities. Either they open their eyes because they are bored and they look at the roof in order to find what is missing in the fridge or they open them because they were really not in the mood to do anything and nothing has been done to bring them into it or it could also be because they are looking at their partner eyes and are enjoying what they are doing. In either case, the lack of knowledge of who they are and the lack of love of who they are will make the difference between the one who is enjoying and the one who is not.

Looking at your partner in his or her eyes when you make love can allow each other to witness the different emotions that each other are going through while you make love. It could be an experience that reveals a lot about the other and our self. Being able to sustain that look and make love while doing it is something unique but that been said, if you force yourself to keep your eyes open when you make love, you are no longer making love, you are forcing yourself into something.

Making love is first about loving our self before even loving the person with whom we are making love. If we do not know our self, we can not love our self. Therefore, whether our eyes are opened or not, as long as we know and love our self, we will be able to love what we are doing because our pleasure will not depend on our partner.


1 Comment

  1. ronny said,

    July 18, 2012 at 11:02 am


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