New cat in the house


New cat in the house Part 1

Julian was looking for a place to live and he saw on internet a house that students were sharing. Three girls and one guy were living in that house. Since the guy was going back to his parents’ house because he could no longer afford the room, he needed to find someone who would take his room before he leaves. As soon as Julian saw the add for the room, he called and he got a meeting for the next day at 11:00. The moment he entered the house, he liked it very much. He was introduced to the girls who were living in the house, and as it is customary, they interviewed him. They asked few questions about his life in order to have a better idea of who he was. One of the girls asked if Julian was allergic to cats and he answered without giving any thought about it that he was not. They continued to chat and before leaving, he discussed the payment with the guy who was renting his room and Julian was offered the room on the spot. He moved in few days later, unpacked his stuffs and installed everything. He got along pretty well with his roommates.

Two weeks later, one of the roommates named Janice announced that she was going to her parents’ house during the weekend and was going to bring her cat in the house. Everybody was joyous to hear that news except Julian. He did not express any particular feelings about it. He was neither happy nor unhappy. All he knew was that he had never lived with a pet in his parent’s house or his own apartment. As the matter of fact, in his parents’ house, they were proud of not having to live with animals and they mocked the attitude and the behaviour of the one who had pets in their house. They did not like the idea of living with animals. They despised it. It was viewed as something that occidentals were doing because they were alone. They were no longer connected to humans and in order to compensate, they had pet in their house.

When Julian was living in his parents’ house, they often verbally expressed their disdain for pets. They joked about how they had to fake their attitude when those pets came close to them when they were at their friends’ house. They saw the way their friends were talking to animals, how they had humanised animals and they were shocked. They did not understand how people became so completely crazy. They wanted nothing to do with pets or animals. There was a clear line between them and animals.

So, you can imagine how unease and anxious Julian was when Janice announced the arrival of her cat. He was stressed by the idea of having a cat around him. He was not scared by the cat itself but the fact that everybody was disgusted by pets in his house did not necessarily prepared him very well for living with a cat. He felt like he could not come back on his words and say he had forgotten that he was allergic to cats or that he did not want to live with one. It would have been rude of him to say something like that. They might have thought that he said that he was not allergic to cats just to get in the house and once it was done he was showing his real face. He did not want to appear like that. Being knew in the house, he wanted to be accepted by his roommate and he did not want to be the one creating problems especially few days after he arrived. The future presence of the cat was making him uncomfortable.

When the cat arrived, everybody in the house was happy and he was observing them and was neutral about it. They put his litter in the room next to the kitchen where the washing machine and the dry cleaner were installed. It meant that every time the cat would want to poop or urinate, it would have to go through the kitchen. Julian had a hard time accepting that. He could not believe he would have to see the cat going to poop in the room next to the kitchen. Somehow, it made him feel dirty. It was as if he was eating next to the cat’s poop. He had this scene in his head of a plate of poop next to his food and by mistake and because he did not pay attention, he put his fork in the poop plate and ate it. It frightened him.

Knowing that he was eating in the kitchen and in the next room there was cat’s shut was unbearable for him. He was scared that the smell of it will compete with the smell of his food. He thought of seeing the cat’s shut every time he was going to clean his clothes in that room and it disturbed him. He felt disgusted by the whole idea but what could he do. He was in the house and there was a cat and he had to deal with it apparently he was the only one finding it strange.

When he was alone with the cat, he had visions of beating, killing, torturing and yelling at the cat. He often imagined that he could throw it outside and punched it in the head. He did not do any of those but the thoughts of doing it were constantly in his mind. Every time the cat was coming next to him, he was moving away or pushing it back. One day, he was cooking his food and the cat went in the room where its litter was. Julian immediately imagined that he went there to shut and he was so disgusted that he locked the door of that room with the cat in it. He stayed like that for five minutes and then he started to feel bad about it and he opened the door to let the cat out.

He was the person who was the least interested in the cat but the cat was doing everything to stay with him as if it wanted to disturb him in purpose. Julian was locking the door of his room because he did not want the cat to get in. He was scared that the cat with the rest of his poop on his ass will touch his things or climbing on his bed. He did not want the cat to pie or poop in his bed. He knew that if that happened it would have able to hide his disgust for the cat. It could have generated some trouble with his roommate and he wanted to prevent that.

In Julian’s head, as long as his room was protected from the cat, he was still clean. His room was his own sanctuary without any cat. It was perfectly clean. There was a no cat zone in his room. Nobody could force him to have the cat in his room. It was his domain and he was the master. He had to eat with cat’s shut and pie but in his room, nobody could do anything. It gave him a sense of comfort. It relaxed him to know that.

Unfortunately for him, the moment the room was open, the cat was jumping in right away. The cat wanted to stay in his room. Every time Julian saw the cat in his room, he pushed him out right away. His anger and disgust of the cat only grew. When he was going to clean his clothes and he saw the cat’s shut, he was disgusted. It was as if his clothes were also full of cat shut. Sometimes the cat was piecing and it was stinging so much in the kitchen that he could not take it anymore but he had to smile and pretend that it was perfectly normal. When the cat came to touch him, he wanted to hit him with his leg but he never did it. His hatred of the cat grew more and more within him. Whenever he saw the cat, he wanted to throw it on the walls.

new cat in the house part 2

Julian was looking at his thoughts and was wondering how come he was the only one feeling like that. If the others were able to love the cat, he probably had the same capacity in him but he did not know how to get there. He saw them having fun with the cat, playing with it, kissing it, begging for its attention and being extremely happy and comfortable with it. He did not want to force himself to love the cat but it was not normal that he constantly had those ideas in his head. He did not want to be like his others roommates who were living a deep love story with the cat or at least appeared to be in love with it but he wanted to be comfortable around the cat. He did not want to be secluded in the hatred of the cat in his head.

One day he was in the house and his roommates were with him and he observed their attitude around the cat. The owner of the cat had forbidden that they let the cat out because she was scared that it might not find his way back home. She did not want to loose the cat. When she was in the kitchen with the others girls, they were talking about keeping the cat inside even though it was clear that it wanted to go out. It often came close to the kitchen door, was looking at it and was trying to climb it in order to open it to go outside. None of that mattered to them. They pretended they did not see it and when they did, they were literally telling the cat that there was no way it was going out because they did not want to suffer the consequences. After that, they hugged the cat and told it that it was a nice cat as if saying that would make the cat feel better or forget about going out. Janice acted as if that little gesture was replacing the desire the cat had to go out. To make sure they paid no more attention to that, they continued to laugh and joke about other subject. 

In order to justify why she kept the cat locked in her house, Janice usually told her others roommates that her cat was loved by everyone in her family. It was the cat’s family. If she happened to lose it, they will simply kill her. They loved the cat way too much.

Since she was the one who had insisted and taken the cat away from her parents’ house, it was now her responsibility to keep it safe and she did not want to let it go away from the house if there was a chance that she could no come back. She did not want to be the one who lost the cat.

In addition to that, loosing the cat would have been horrible for her because she needed it so much. She used it as her sleeping partner, as her cuddling tool and as her kissing toy. All those reasons justified to her eyes and everybody around her the fact that she maintained the cat within the house without.

There were times when the cat lovers of the house were expressing their thoughts and feeling about the cat in a strange way. They were saying with a voice of someone who was talking to a baby that they wanted to draw the cat cheeks. Sometimes they were locking the cat in a room just to see its reaction. They put stuff on its head because they wanted to have fun even though it was clear that the cat did not like it. In order to have fun, they throw water at the cat and they were chasing it when it was very clear that the cat was annoyed by that behaviour. They were doing all sorts of things to disturb the cat knowingly. They took pleasure at seeing it annoyed or disturbed. When they had their fun at the cat expenses, they hugged it, kissed it and caressed it and said to the cat that they loved it and that he was the best cat in the world.

Were they saying that out of remorse from what they have done? Maybe deep down deep they knew that what they were doing was not good for the cat but they were doing it regardless. Perhaps they felt bad for what they had just done and they thought that by kissing the cat, he was going to forget that they had mistreated it. Were they asking forgiveness for their behaviour toward the cat by hugging it? Or were they telling the cat that he was the best because he was able to take their crap without saying anything like a human being would?

They had perhaps those desires to torture or to annoy people in them. Unfortunately for the cat, no human being was ready to accept to be treated as such willingly. Therefore they took a cat and were exteriorizing those feelings by acting that way with the cat.

Even though what they were doing did not resemble to what Julian often thought of doing to the cat, he was pleased to see that in their way, they were expressing a strange need to torture the cat. They did not go as far as his visions were but they were doing everything they could to get closer to their desires to make the cat or someone suffered. As for the owner, the one who was supposed to love that cat the most, she was ready to lock it in the house for months even though it was clear that it wanted to go out. She was not acting like that because she wanted to protect the cat. She did it because she did not want the cat to disappear on her watch. She wanted to protect herself by keeping it inside although it was suffering from being in the house since it had been brought in that house.

Her supposed love for the cat was actually a love for herself. None of them loved the cat for the cat. They were willing to do anything for the cat as long as it did not put them at risk. If their interest was going to put the cat in a suffering position, they were not going to think twice before doing it. Julian found comfort in seeing that he was not the only bad person.

As a matter of fact, he realized that the cat or other pets was probably bringing all the animalistic behaviour of the human beings at the surface. All the desires and needs to torture, to kill, to hate, to punch the people they do not like were coming up. His roommates without knowing were mimicking those scenes with their pets. They were compensating with the pets. When they needed to receive love, they were begging for the pet attention and were doing anything in order for the pet to come close to them. When they needed to torture or to kill people, they were teasing and were annoying the cat. When they needed to give love, they were chasing the cat or another pet to give it love.

One day, Julian went to put his clothes in the washing machine and he saw that the cat had shut all over the place. He was disgusted and wanted to leave the room. Instead of doing that, he said to himself that he needed to clean everything if he wanted to have his clothes cleaned. If he had chosen not to clean it, there was a big chance that it could stay like that the whole day. Since he did not want to take care of that, he thought of going back into his room with his dirty clothes and pretended that he had not see anything.

By leaving everything as it was, one of the girls would eventually go there and would have cleaned it. After all, they were the one loving the cat. If everything went according to logic, things would have happened the way he had planed but knowing them the way he did, there was still a chance that thing went in a different way.

They were so accustomed to the cat’s poop there was a possibility that they might not be disturb by it and he could not afford to wait for the day that they would decide to clean it. He needed to have his clothes cleaned right away. He did not want to tell the owner that her cat had pooped and that she needed to clean it because she could have taken it the wrong way. She might have seen what he would have as some sort of pressure that he was putting on her. To avoid any problem, he decided to do it himself.

Although he was disgusted by it, he did it. He kept on thinking that he had cleaned his brothers, sisters and cousins poop when they were little. He was also cleaning his shut whenever he was going in the bathroom. It took him five minutes to clean everything. Once he did it, he washed his hands and felt good about himself. He realized that there was nothing to it.

Since that day, Julian had a different relation with the cat. The fact that he had linked his own shut to the one of the cat had brought him closer to the cat. The cat pooped and he pooped as well. If he was disgusted by the cat poop, it meant that he was disgusted by his own poop. If he was rejecting the cat because the cat was dirty and was pooping, it meant that he disgusted himself when he was pooping and did not like the fact that he was doing that.

When he accepted to clean it, it was as if he was accepting a part of him. He accepted that he was pooping all the time and that it smelled bad. Once he did that about himself, it was easier for him to accept it about the cat.

He had less hatred for the cat. It made him be more patient with it. He was less uncomfortable with it. He was able to let the cat touch him. He sometimes surprised himself talking to the cat or saying good bye to it when he was leaving the house. He understood a little bite more what the cat wanted and where the cat was coming from with its gestures and desires. Instead of being annoyed and disturbed by the cat, he was more understanding.

Few weeks later, Janice went away for a three day week-end. Julian and the others roommates stayed with the cat. The cat came close to the kitchen door and was crying to go outside. At the beginning Julian thought that it missed Janice but the intensity of the cries and the insistence with which it was banging the door left no doubt as to what it needed. It wanted to go out.

Since Julian and the others did not want to take the risk to let the cat out and to loose it, nobody opened the door. When Janice came back, she asked how the cat had behaved in her absence and Julian told her that it really cried a lot because it wanted to go out. Janice boyfriend another cat lover said: “well, it will have to stay in because that’s the way it is. It is too bad for it but there is nothing we can do”.

Julian looked at him thought in his head: “it is more like there is nothing you want to do because you don’t care about it. You care about protecting yourself and using the cat the way you want without any consideration for the cat” then he smiled at him and pretended that he understood him.

New cat in is the house part 3

Julian was surprised to see that the so called cat lovers were so inconsiderate toward their cat needs. They had no sense of what it meant to care for their cat. Janice knew that her cat was going out a lot before she brought it in the new house. It was not like she did not have a choice. Nobody was forcing her to take the cat away from the habitat which was more suitable to its needs. The people living in her parents’ house wanted to keep the cat. They were taking good care of it. They loved the company of the cat and they adored to be around it. As the matter of fact, they were very reluctant to let the cat go but Janice did not care. She did not pay attention to the fact that the environment at her parents’ house was way better for the cat. She did not see the big picture.

All she had in her mind was the fact that she missed the cat and she wanted to be around it. Nothing else mattered to her. She was so insensitive to the cat needs that when she brought it, she forgot to bring its leash which caused her to keep the cat within the house. She did not want to go out with the cat because it might have run away and disappear.

Julian had difficulty to understand her. It was one thing to satisfy her needs and no one could blame her for that but the least she could have done was to incorporate in her decision some elements that would have facilitate the presence of her cat in her new house like thinking about taking its leash. One would have thought that when she would have realized that she had forgotten to bring it, she would have called her mum and asked her to send it through mail but she did not. She went back to see her parents twice and she did not bring it. Janice mum came to see her once as well as her brother and her boyfriend who lived next door to her parents’ house but the leash was never brought in or mentioned. 

As for her parents, the one who did not want to let go of the cat, they knew that Janice had left the cat’s leash in their house. They talked about it with her and they saw the leash in their house. They could have thought about the cat desires to go out and sent its leash to their daughter but they did not. It did not occur to them that they could have done that.

It is not as if Janice did not mention to her parents that she had forgotten the leash and therefore could not bring the cat out because she did but the fact and the matter is that it did not make any difference. Everything happened as if nobody really cared about what was good for the cat. What mattered the most was that the cat stayed around them regardless of what would have made it be more comfortable in his new environment. Once the cat had left their house, the parents missed it but not enough to think about how they could have made its life easier in Janice house. The love of their cat would have made them think about it but none of them did. Was it pure lack of attention to the cat desires? Was it ignorance of the cat needs? Or was it ignorance of what love is?

Or maybe, even though they were cat lovers, they still considered the cat as an animal. They had not integrated yet that they needed to include in their thought process that it was their responsibility to create an environment that was practical for it. Although they were kissy-kissy, lovy-lovy, huggy-huggy, and so on and so for, they were not closed to the cat. They still had a difference between them and their beloved cat. The cat was with them but nobody was with the cat. What was sad was that they all thought of themselves as cat lovers. They considered themselves as good regular and open minded family because they had a cat. The really thought that they loved the cat when actually they did not.

The line Julian’s family had put between animals and themselves existed also in the house of the people who loved pets. You needed to live with them and to observe how they reacted in order to realize that they loved the affection the pets were giving to them and the affection they thought they were giving to their pets. They were spending a lot of money to buy their pet’s food and to bring it to the veterinary but it did not mean that they understood their pets. They did not have the pet to understand it but to get something out of it. They could not grasp the best interest of their pets because they did not know what their best interest was for. They had no clue whatsoever. The amount of money they spent and the show of affection they gave to their pets meant nothing in terms of being close the animal.

It gave them a sense of being more understanding of animals when in reality; they were just living with the animal and using it according to their needs. Although there was an exchange between the two, it was not one of love as they thought or claimed that it was but it was one of domination between a master and his pet. The pet was not taken in consideration in that relation.

They were feeding it because if it was not fed, it was going to die and they could not let that happen because they needed it. They brought it to the veterinary because if they did not, there was a chance that they might catch its diseases or that it might die. In either case, they would have suffered and they did not want that. They were taking their pet out to poop not because it was good for their pets but because they did not want it to poop in their house.

They brought it outside to run because they knew that it would reduce its anxiety. If they did not do that, their pet would be too nervous and their house would not be liveable. They kept it in their house because they wanted to reach it whenever they wanted and the moment they had something more interesting to do, they usually forgot about it right away.

In desperate need of affection, they created a world around them with pets. It was a world where they could grab their pets wherever they wanted, whenever they wanted and how often they wanted. Even though their pets could show some resistance when they were acting like that, since they are the masters, nobody could say anything. It was their right to behave as such. After all they were spending a lot of money for it. As owner of their pet, they could always force it to play with them or to cuddle them when they wanted because those were the owner’s rights.

They usually grew extremely dependent on their relation with their pets but unfortunately, no matter how much love they were receiving from them, they were not able to love their pets as much as their pets loved them.

They could not do it because they did not know what love meant. They thought love was to give the medical, the food, the cuddles, the hugs, the caresses etc but unfortunately for them, it was not only that. It contributed a lot to increase the health and the capacity to love but it was not love.

If they were motivated by love, they would have spent the time to understand their pet needs and would have accommodated it. Since they did not understand that about themselves, they could not understand it about their pet. If they had taken the time to understand themselves, they might have not need a pet at home or they would have taken a pet for other reasons than to receive affection. If they had taken the time to care about themselves, they would have realized that their dependency on the affection of the pets was only not normal because it made them in control of the pet instead of being with the pet.

If they had taken the time to look at themselves, they would have seen that their dependency on the affection of their pet was only the proof that they were not able to give themselves that kind of affection. They could not generate that level of love for themselves from within themselves. Instead of finding a way to do it, they took a pet which was doing the job of loving them at their place. They did not like themselves enough to spend the time with themselves or take care of who they were.

The result was when they found something that was able to love them; they became extremely dependent of it. Those pets loved them more than they would ever love themselves. They did not have any idea of where that level of love was coming from. This explained why they were doing everything they could to keep their pets close them. Nobody loved them as much as their pets did not even themselves. They could not bear being with themselves without their pets. It was too much to handle for them. They needed that infusion of love.

It was a pity that not only their pets loved them more than they did love themselves but that they were never going to love their pets as much as their pets were going to love them. They were convinced that they loved their pets more than anything but it was not true. They could not do it because they had never learnt to love themselves. Only someone who knows how to love himself or herself can give love. Everything they did was out of hatred for themselves, therefore they were not loving their pets but controlling them. It was a strange realization Julian made.

New cat in the house Part 4

The sensitivity Julian shown toward the cat grew. He started talking about the need for the cat to go out. He told Janice that the cat was crying around the kitchen door when she was not in the house. Because he did not want to make her feel bad, he told her that it was something that was only recent. Every time he was witnessing the cat moving in front of the door or trying to climb it in order to open and to go out, he brought her attention to that.

Three days after he started that process, Janice finally changed her mind. Before allowing the cat to go out, she checked to see if the fence that encircled the garden in the back of the house had any whole that the cat could use to sneak out and never find his way back home. Once she verified it, she gave Julian and her others roommates the authorization to let the cat out if they felt like it needed it.

Julian was proud. He went from detesting the cat to accepting it and even fought for what he thought was right for the cat. He was happy to see that he was able to understand the cat even though he was not showing any sign of affection to it. His level of patience and compassion for the cat increased enormously. The fact that he was able to do something for the cat completely annihilated the bad vision he had of animals.

He was able to relate to the cat without kissing it, caring it in his arms or even caressing it. He was just around the cat like another roommate who was in the house. They were sharing the same house and they had to do some comprises in order to live harmoniously. Since he had fought for the cat to go out, he realized without being 100% sure that the cat was coming to him for others things like food or water. Maybe the cat knew that he was now on its side. Or perhaps the cat had always done that but he was too busy hating its presence around him that he never noticed it or understood it.

When he realized that about himself, he was less judgemental of Janice and her parents’ attitude. If he was not able to see the cat needs because he considered the cat as something that was not its equal, it was only normal that they did not pay attention to its needs. They were both the same. They had to learn from animals how to increase their capacity to include different aspects of a situation before caring it out. They had to realize from the cat that they were unable to love because they were unaware of how to love themselves. Julian and Janice both had and incredible capacity to love. They just needed to let themselves being transformed by their entourage and what they were feeling inside.

Julian had changed his perception about cats, pets and pets lovers in general because he saw how his roommates were reacting to the cat. Realizing that something was missing in him, he did the necessary effort to understand why he was acting like he was around pets. He spent the time to understand himself and to forgive himself for the hatred he had inside him toward animals. Following this change of heart, he was able to show compassion toward animals, pets and pets’ lovers. His switched his behaviour so much that he was able to understand the cat at a different level. He went as far as bringing his inputs on the table to betterize their understanding of the cat. The cat benefited from his openness and from what he had discovered.

His transformation also changed something in Janice mind. Things happened as if they were all there to make him change. Nothing could be done for the cat as long as he had hatred in him for it. The moment he stopped hating the cat, it was able to go out. If he had loved the cat sooner, maybe the cat would have gone out earlier.

On the other side, because Janice listened to what Julian had said about her cat, she integrated in her mind a far better vision of her cat’s interest. She was willing to take risk in order to accommodate her cat. She gave it more freedom because she was less scared of loosing it. By thinking more about her cat and less about herself, it reduced her fear and her need to control her cat.

Loving the cat meant that she thought of all the aspects of the cat needs before taking any action that involved her cat. She almost had to think less about herself because without realizing it, humans’ beings have a natural tendency to think more about themselves than to think about the others. In order to avoid that, she had to put as an objective in her head to think more about cat than to herself.

The more she thought only and exclusively about herself, the more the feeling of loosing what she loved increased and the bigger her desire to keep the cat around her was. Consequently, her fear increased and it made her behaviour changed completely from love to hate. The strange thing was that all that happened without her realizing it.

Instead of loving the cat as she thought she was, she became restrictive of its freedom of action and movement. By doing so, she was responsible of its frustration and misery. What was impressive was that, she did all those things in the name of the love she had for the cat and the love the cat was giving her. Everything was done in the name of love. The most reprehensible acts as well as the most beautiful ones.

It made Julian think of the actions he had done and was doing out of love for people around him. Perhaps some of them were big disasters because he did those things without thinking about them too much, without including their point of view in the situation and without considering integrating all aspects which were involved in the decisions he was taking. Maybe the actions of love he took actually resulted completely at the opposite of love because he had not taken the time to look at every angle and the consequences of his decisions. A desired might have risen in his head and he went for it without giving much thought. 

The cat had changed them all. The humans being thought that they knew love but they knew nothing about it. What they considered as animals had a better understanding of love then they did. Their animals loved them far better than they loved themselves but in their heads, they were the ones who were superior to the animals. They called themselves human beings but shown none of the behaviour that could have linked them to love.

Even though love was their primary source of existence, they had levelled it down so much that they no longer knew how to love anymore. Animals and pets were sent on earth in order to help them. Pets had accepted a life of rejection and misery just to show them how to love. It was their duty and they were doing a very good job.

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